Mai Hang interview

Item

Transcript of Mai Hang interview

Title

Mai Hang interview

Creator

Hang, Mai
Banh, Jenny

Relation

Central Valley Southeast Asian Successful Voices

Coverage

Fresno, California

Date

2017

Rights

Copyright has been transferred to Fresno State

Identifier

SCMS_casv_00034

extracted text

>> Hello, welcome. Thank you so much for being, consenting for a new Fresno State archive, Successful Southeast
Asian Voices. If you can say your name and spell it.
>> Mai Hang: Okay, my name is Mai Hang. First name is M-A-I, last name is H-A-N-G.
>> Great. Can you give me verbal permission to record you for our new Fresno State's Successful Southeast Asian
Voices?
>> Mai Hang: Yes, I do.
>> Great. Okay. I guess we'll start the interview. Thank you. What is your gender?
>> Mai Hang: My gender is female.
>> Okay. Don't tell me the date but what is your birth year?
>> Mai Hang: 1976.
>> What is your ethnic group and where were you born?
>> Mai Hang: My ethnicity is Hmong, and I was born in Thailand.
>> Interesting. What was your undergraduate major?
>> Mai Hang: It was Human Services.
>> What's your generation, are you 1.5 generation would you say or second generation or first generation?
>> Mai Hang: It would be first generation.
>> Okay. What is your mother and father's highest education?
>> Mai Hang: They didn't have any education at all.
>> Okay. What's your family composition that you grew up with? That means how many brothers and sisters did you
have?
>> Mai Hang: I have a total of 7 sisters and 2 brothers.
>> Did they go to college?
>> Mai Hang: It's just myself and my brother, who is just below me.
>> Wow. Impressive. Okay, why did your other brothers and sisters they didn't go to college? Why did you go to
college? Why did they not go to college?
>> Mai Hang: For me I had to set the example for my children, and I just wanted to lead the way and just show them
that their education is very important and no matter what age you are or where you are in life education is the goal to,
it's the pathway to reach your dreams and your goals in whatever it is that you're doing.
>> So how did you have the strength to actually or the kind of grit and knowledge that you applied to Fresno State?
What was the route that you did?

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>> Mai Hang: I went to I had a long break. I didn't get my degree, my bachelor's degree, until I was about 36 years old,
and what had made me go back to school was I wanted to show, I wanted to be a role model for my children because we
don't have any dropouts in our family so I just wanted to keep that tradition going and just wanted to let them know that
education is an important key in life and I just wanted to let them know that no matter how hard or no matter where life
takes you, you've just got to keep, you've just going to stay focused and hit those books.
>> Thinking back when you went back to college, were you mentored at all? What was the route for you? You said you
thought that going to college was good. Were you ever mentored?
>> Mai Hang: No, I wasn't. And it was pretty tough going back to school at that age and because I already had 5
children already and when I attended school it was really hard because especially coming from our culture, you know,
you are a wife, daughter-in-law, a mother, an aunt, sister-in-law and so you have all of these, you know, huge
responsibilities especially as a wife and a mother. So it was ->> -- it is so inspiring to hear that. Can you give any advice to our many students who have children? I mean you did it
with so much. How did you do it with 5 kids?
>> Mai Hang: Yeah, it was tough, it was really tough, but you just have to, you just have to discipline yourself and you
have to also work with your kids and explain to them that, you know, you're in school and mommy is trying to go back
to school as well and you just have to know what your priorities are because our children are our priority and in order
for them to, in order for the family to have a healthy balance, you know, we as mothers or parents, we have to make sure
that our kids come first and then, you know, everything else below that. So you just have to, you know, you just have to
maintain that balance. It is hard. It's harder, you know, it's harder said than done, you know, and so.
>> Who watched your kids when you went to class?
>> Mai Hang: Well, I took evening classes. I took evening classes and at that time I was laid off because I was working
for the housing authority and the department that I was working for they had ran out of grant. So I was already a year
into my studies and I wanted to leave school because and I'll find a second job and find employment, but then I was
already, you know, student loans were already accruing so I was just telling myself, you know, my foot is already in the
door I can't quit because I have my children looking up to me and I just have to fulfill, you know, I just have to fill those
shoes and so I just continued and at that time I was unemployed. I was unemployed for 10 years. And so I continued
school and during the day I would take care of my kids during the day and make sure that dinner was ready for them
when they came home and then I went to college. So I took evening classes and so I worked out a schedule between my
children's school schedule versus my school schedule.
>> Wow.
>> Mai Hang: Yeah. It was really hard because at that time I had my in-laws were living with me as well and my
husband was working a full-time job so it was really hard. It was really tough.
>> But you made it through. What made you keep going? Because we do have a lot of mothers who go to Fresno State
actually. You just wanted to be a role model. That's incredible.
>> Mai Hang: Yes, I did, because, you know, I didn't want to break that, you know, I didn't want to break that vow
between me and the kids because I told my children, you know, that I'm going to school and I want them to continue in
school and so I reflected back on that statement that I told my kids I was going to be school so that way it will help
encourage them and it will help them make those, you know, life skills and those life decisions so that they can reflect
back on, you know, on me one day and say you know what my mom did it, she never gave up so I should continue
because mom never gave up.
>> That's a good point. So are you the first person to have a BA in your entire family or you said your brother but are
you the first person?

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>> Mai Hang: Yes. I'm the first person. After I completed my BA I went forward to getting my, to getting a master's
degree and I have a minor master's degree as well.
>> Oh, wow, that's impressive. That is, wow, that's great. Very unique. Looking back actually do you think, you had to
take care of kids, your husband, you're an aunt, a wife, do you think you had any other barriers that hampered your
graduation at all do you think or hampered your success?
>> Mai Hang: Yeah, there was a lot of barriers because my husband and I we are a blended family. So it was really,
really tough as well. He has his kids, I have my kids and then we have our kids together. And so, yeah, it was really
difficult. It was extremely difficult because my, his parents were living with us and there was 12 of us living in a 6
bedroom house at that time. And it was extremely difficult because I had to be a daughter-in-law, I had to be a wife, I
had to be a mother, you know, I was wearing 3 hats at once and it was extremely difficult.
>> And a student.
>> Mai Hang: Yes, yes. And so, yes, it was really difficult because I would stay up until, you know, late in the night.
Sometimes I wouldn't even get done with, you know, with homework and writing my papers until 3 or 4 o'clock in the
morning, I'd lay down for a couple of hours and then it will be time to wake up and get the kids ready to drop them off
at school, come back. It was really difficult, but you know ->> -- that's amazing.
>> Mai Hang: Yeah, thank you.
>> You are truly an amazing woman.
>> Mai Hang: Thank you.
>> We have so many mothers and fathers, right, who struggle and, you know, some of them for many reasons or
different reasons don't make it. So for you to have 5 children and do that, that's really impressive. Thinking about your
personality, all of these things you didn't have to do, you didn't have to go to college, you didn't have to finish, you
didn't have to show your parents, I'm sorry, actually relatives and your kids to be such a role model. What is it about
Mai that's so impressive? I mean is this your personality that you just never quit since like 3rd grade, 6th grade, 9th
grade? I mean why did you make it when so many people did not make it? And you had so many different barriers. Like
what is it about your personality?
>> Mai Hang: I think that because I've put God first. Now I'm a Christian and so, yeah, and so I put God first in front of
everything that, you know, that I do and it was by, you know, by the grace of God and with the help of God guiding me
and leading me and, you know, every time I became stressed or emotional, I always would look up to him asking, you
know, to comfort me and to be there for me. So, I didn't do it by myself; I did it with the leadership and the guidance of
God. And so it wasn't, you know, it wasn't the easiest journey, but I'm glad that God was there to help pull me through
each step of the way.
>> Great. And looking at definitely your faith has really influenced you, thinking about Mai in 3rd grade, is your present
personality the same personality you had as a 3rd grader? Just like kind of go getter personality/
>> Mai Hang: I actually when I was younger I was a really, really shy child because I was raised not to, you know, not
to speak when if you weren't asked a question don't input your opinion.
>> Oh wow.
>> Mai Hang: Yes. And so that's how I was raised by my parents and, yeah, so I've had a really difficult time, you
know, in my older age of making friends because I was really, really anti-social when I was growing up and my parents
didn't allow us to have friends or other influences because they were scared of, because I was the first generation here so
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they were very, very protective. We were very, very sheltered. And so in 3rd grade I would say that my personality is
totally different. I was just very quiet, very observant and just very, very low maintenance.
>> Were you, so how did you transfer that into college? Because in college you kind of have to talk and you have to,
you know, if you need help, you have to ask questions. How did you, did you change your personality in college or how
did you do it?
>> Mai Hang: I did it by the help of my, my classmates.
>> Oh, great. Okay.
>> Mai Hang: And it was really tough. It was just extremely tough for me because, you know, you have to, in college
you have to, you know, do presentations and you have to interact with other people so with me for myself personally I
had really, really anxiety because that was something I was never used to because of the way I was brought up and, you
know, our culture itself too it plays a huge, it has a huge impact too because for us as, you know, Hmong, Hmong
women and being in the role of wife we pretty much don't have a voice. Our opinion doesn't matter. And so I've, you
know, it was really hard for me. It was really, really hard for me. The last year of my, completing my BA was a little bit
more easier for me than the first 3 years. The first 3 years I had really, really bad anxiety because I didn't have that
mentorship, I didn't have, you know, any kind of family support or any kind of support that would help me, that would
help break me out of that shell.
>> So then you talked about it was through the friendship of your friends. What did your friends do for you?
>> Mai Hang: They, they helped, you know, I mean I was pretty much carried under their wings and whatever it was
that I didn't understand because in our group there consists of 4 other classmates that were all women and they were all
believers of Christ as well. So, it made it a little bit easier and so they were, they would lead the way for me. Whenever,
whichever subject or whichever part, you know, I was experiencing weakness in, they would carry, they would help me
carry that load. They would help me, they would help break it down for me or show me how to, you know, show me
how to get there. And so that's how they helped me because we always start our studies with prayer and we ended with
prayer and that's how we got it done. That's how they helped me through and, you know, we were a multi, we were a
multicultural group.
>> Oh wow.
>> Mai Hang: That consisted of us 5. And so that's what really helped me as well.
>> How did you find this group?
>> Mai Hang: We were, we had classes together, we had classes together and so we had to, I didn't attend Fresno State,
I'm sorry, I went to, I got my bachelors from University of Phoenix.
>> Oh, great.
>> Mai Hang: And so with Phoenix you have to work together as a team because, you know, after the completion of
your degree and outside in the real world when you work with people you have to, you know, be a team player. So, with
University of Phoenix we had to work in groups of 4 or 5 individuals. And so that's how I met them. And we finished
our program together and, you know, we worked several years ago we worked and we're still, you know, we're still
connected and we're still sister friends until this day even though we ->> -- oh, that's great.
>> Mai Hang: Yeah.
>> Go ahead, I'm sorry. Were you saying something else?
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>> Mai Hang: No, I'm done.
>> Okay. Great. Thinking back about bridges, definitely this woman's group multicultural helped you a lot. Can you
think of any other things that helped you succeed in academics such as were you part of a dance troop [phonetic], you
talked about church, were you part of a community center? Were you part of among students group? Anything else do
you think helped you?
>> Mai Hang: I think that in the places that I had my internship done I think those are the places that helped me out a lot
as well because that was the only time where I will find that I was being fully mentored in my study [phonetic]. The
supervisors that I had at each different location that I was doing my internship was, they were very supportive, very
helpful, very, very informative and I worked, I volunteered at Marjeree Mason Center.
>> Oh, okay. What is that?
>> Mai Hang: Marjeree Mason Center is a women's shelter. It's a domestic, it's a women's domestic violence center
where, yeah, where domestic violence victims go and seek shelter and, you know, other stuff like that too. And so when
I did my internship there at Marjaree Mason Center, it really, really opened up my eyes and it really taught me how to
break free from my assignments because I was also a victim of domestic violence for 13 years.
>> Oh, I'm sorry.
>> Mai Hang: Yeah and so when I [inaudible] it really helped me break free from being silent all these years and it
really helped me recover from, you know, my bad experience too. So, my mentor, my supervisor there are the Marjaree
Mason Center was the one that really, really helped coach me and break me to where, you know, showed me how to
really just be a little bit more outspoken. Not in a negative way but, you know, and teach me that, you know, my opinion
does matter and my voice does matter and my voice needs to be heard. And so that's what really, really did it for me was
when I completed my, well, when I went out to do my internship there at the Marjaree Mason Center.
>> Wow. I think your words are very inspiring, and I think this will help a lot of students. So you recommend also, you
had a lot of positivity from your internship, do you recommend for students to do internships?
>> Mai Hang: I do, I do because it really opens up your eyes to what is really, really out there and just something that,
you know, you might use never thought that exist does exist. And so I'm really all for internship because it really gives
you and it really teaches you and it shows you if you are in the right place or not with your studies.
>> Great.
>> Mai Hang: It will help you. It will help define who you really are and it will really help define our, you know, your
identity.
>> Excellent. Is there anything that for instance if I were to ask you would smaller classes be better for students in
general or do you think it has no difference?
>> Mai Hang: I, for me personally I would prefer smaller classes so that way students have an opportunity to, you
know, to really understand the study because that's my personal preference because for me being raised in a quiet
environment, you know, being taught not to voice your opinion because it doesn't matter because sometimes it's really,
you know, it's really difficult, it's really difficult for certain individuals to really, you know, release their voice out there.
And, you know, because when I was little, when I was in elementary school, I remember my dad used to always tell me,
you know, to never ask any dumb questions.
>> Oh my goodness.
>> Mai Hang: Yeah. And so when I was in 6th grade, my 6th grade teacher had said whoever has a question always
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remember to ask a question if you are unsure because there's no such thing as a dumb question.
>> Right, that's correct, yeah.
>> Mai Hang: Yes, and you know my 6th grade teacher, you know, shed a light for me because I was always told by my
father to never ask questions because when you ask a question you want to make sure that you don't ask a dumb
question. And so I've always been quiet throughout my whole entire elementary, middle school and high school and so
I, you know, I would struggle. If I didn't understand anything, I wouldn't ask. I would just try my best to figure it out.
>> Wow. Thank you for saying that because we're fighting such an issue with the students not asking questions. So the
students who are not doing well who may be failing or just have, they need help but they're not asking for help and
thank you for highlighting that because we have right now that same issue. It's a big issue because if you don't ask for
help, then how can people help you.
>> Mai Hang: Exactly.
>> Thank you.
>> Mai Hang: I do find that it is becoming an issue because sometimes some people, well, for me just for my personal
experience and just me personally, because you don't want, you know, because we live in a cruel world and you don't
want to, you know, put something out there that doesn't make sense or something that, you know, might trigger
something. And so sometimes some people they're afraid to ask questions because personally I'm afraid to ask questions
because I don't want other people to think wrong of me, I don't want people to, you know, look at me in the wrong way
or think of me as, you know, as somebody totally not who I really am. And so that's why, you know, as a child growing
up, I was taught that by my dad and so I never asked questions. It was hard. Yeah, and I do find it that it's really hard as
I got older because I shy away from people, I didn't socialize with people and so it was really, really difficult and now
with my children growing up I always encourage them to, you know, to meet new people and to, yeah, and so.
>> Do you tell them to ask questions?
>> Mai Hang: I do. I do.
>> Wow, okay, great. So you're kind of breaking these cultural norms. Is it very common to not ask questions. Do you
think that, do you think your life would have been easier or college would have been easier had you been a male?
>> Mai Hang: I do. I do because for our culture, you know, boys are looked at highly because they carry the family
name and, you know, they have less responsibility than us women do and I just feel that, you know, if I was a male, I
would have finished school earlier, I wouldn't have had to had, you know, gotten my degrees at such a later age because
if you were a male and you wouldn't have to do any of the cooking, the cleaning, you know, taking care of the kids, you
know, and so.
>> Was it easier for your brother do you think? Or was it just as hard?
>> Mai Hang: No, it was much easier for my brother. It was way much easier for my brother because my parents, you
know, had his meals cooked for him, they put gas in his car, they basically did everything for him. All he had to do was
just, you know, come home, eat and then go do his homework and bring the dishes out of his room and pile it up in the
sink and that was it. So he had it really good versus because for me I got married at a very, very young age and I had my
kids at a very young age too. So I basically didn't have much of a childhood. And so I had to grow up really fast. I had
to grow up really fast and so it was really difficult. It was really, really difficult because now you're a wife, you have to,
you have to make sure that your husband is taken care of it and you have to make sure that, you know, your parent inlaws are fed, your children are fed, homework is done, the kitchen floor is swept, the dishes put away and all that stuff.
And so I just, you know, as a male college would have been a whole lot easier and it would have been done sooner.
>> You know it's interesting it's the Hmong women who actually are succeeding at a higher rate than the Hmong men.
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And it's interesting that you note that you're a mother because although we have parents that are not finishing
[inaudible] parents are graduating actually at a high rate. Do you think that being a parent actually pushed you to
graduate? Because it's like a, you're very determined and you finished, which is rare 6% of the world to have a BA, do
you think that your children, and I think you talked about it already but you kind of want to be a role model to them.
>> Mai Hang: Yes. I wanted to continue what I originally started and also I wanted to prove to myself that, you know, if
they can do it, if they can do it, why can't I? And so I just had to push myself to do it and I wasn't going to give up and,
you know, have other people criticize or, you know, think negatively of me, you know. So, yeah.
>> So did you go against, you said you, you know, your father told you not to ask questions but your teacher said to ask
questions. How did you have the strength to go against your kind of cultural norms to get a degree and ask questions?
Where do you get that strength?
>> Mai Hang: It was hard at first. It was really, really hard at first because when you are a wife and a mother and, you
know, for me personally it was really hard, it was really, really hard for me to make that, to stand up for myself and tell
my husband that I was going to go back to school because my in-laws were totally against it because they said that, you
know, I couldn't go back to school because who is going to raise my kids and who is going to raise his kids. And I, you
know, I kept fighting. I had kids from the previous marriage also and so it was difficult but then I told my husband
regardless of what anyone says, I need to go and get my education because I need to set that, I need to pave the path for
my children because I wanted to let you know that regardless of what our situation was like, what our lifestyle is and
what we're going through if you set your mind to something and you see that you are going to do it, then you stick with
it and it was really hard. I mean I cried the first couple of years of going back to school because I had no support.
>> Wow. And you made it. It's just so impressive that you are, that you are a Southeast Asian Successful Voice because
there are others who have no children, who are not married, who are single who are males or females but they did not
choose to graduate for whatever reason. So that's truly impressive that you have done so many things. The last question
I have, well, before the last question what was education given to you on a personal level?
>> Mai Hang: It has helped me give me confidence a lot because I never had confidence growing up. And it has helped,
it has helped with my self-esteem and helped open up my eyes and it has taught me that if you, you know, if you want it
bad enough, you can have it if you put your mind to it.
>> Great. And there are very few BAs in Fresno and also in the Southeast Asian community. So you are so rare actually
to have a degree. You're a rare bird. So the last question I have is advice to third generation, which is basically like your
kids in the next generation. You know they also have their own barriers, maybe cultural, gender, financial, what can you
tell them, what kind of advice can you give them to keep going and to graduate? Because we do have that retention rate
at Fresno State. What advice can you tell them to keep going? Like you. Basically like you.
>> Mai Hang: Thank you. I guess to just no matter what the situation looks like, no matter what the challenges are if
you keep chasing then you will get there and if you hold your head up high you will eventually achieve it. And just keep
pressing forward, just keep pressing forward and you will get to the finish line eventually if you keep pressing forward.
>> And it doesn't matter the timeframe just graduate.
>> Mai Hang: Yes, exactly.
>> So great. Is there anything else, any advice for the third generation, fourth generation? And this is great because
other mom's will be listening to this I'm sure and, you know, it will be a preset, you know, I can't do it because insert I
have many kids or something, right? But really I mean there have been many moms who have made it such as yourself
and interestingly enough many singles who have not made it who don't have the barriers. So anything, any advice
specifically to mothers?
>> Mai Hang: Do it, do it for you, you know, and do it for you because the reward is well worth it at the end. It's really,
really well worth it, you know, we go through trials, we'll be faced with challenges and tribulations, but if you hold on,
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you know, if you hold on tight enough you will, you will enjoy the reward at the end because it's really, really well
worth it.
>> Great. Thank you. Okay, I'm going to turn this off.

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